Thursday, July 26, 2012

Hug a Narcissist

What happened to empathy? Narcissists are people too. But narcissism seems to have become the new universal pejorative label with which to criticize, externalize or marginalize someone you dislike. It's the new borderline. Narcissism has become the whipping boy for anything you want to see as a problem in society, especially if you can associate it with bad parenting.

Don't bother to examine the individual or obtain information about their personality functioning over much of their life. Watch them on TV or observe them at a party for a few moments, and you can make the diagnosis. Even rank amateurs can do it.

Want to improve your appearance? Narcissism. Watch movies about superheroes? Narcissism. Use Facebook? Narcissism. Send tweets to your followers about what you are doing? Narcissism. Use a smart phone? Narcissism. Feel good about yourself? Narcissism.

Mother Teresa got a kick out of helping others? Narcissism. Big time.

Blame it on the Me Generation and the Self Esteem Movement. Ayn Rand and Nathaniel Branden.

Can these narcissists, human beings like you and me, really be the root of all that evil?


  1. If you know one, live with one and even love one, then you know its not something to be taken lightly and its for sure is not a funny matter. Its like a rock thrown in a still pond of water. The ripples all flow from the center and reaches out across the pond.

  2. We can all make ripples, and probably should. Narcissists deserve our love and respect just like the rest.

  3. I deserve to be loved in return by someone capable of it. I deserve to have my loved one interested in what I have to say as well. I deserve to have somebody similarly happy for my victories.

    Whoops! That was so narcissistic of me, wanting to be treated as I treated him.

  4. Don't worry. Soon, narcissism will no longer be clinically significant. Narcissistic Personality Disorder won't even be in DSM 5 right?

  5. Narcissists don't deserve respect or love, but they are entitled to compassion if it's possible. You have obviously not had to deal with a narcist, or you wouldn't have posted such a cavalier opinion. Narcists are the worst sort of person to encounter. If you are of value to them, you will be sucked dry and then discarded. If you are not of value, you won't get the time of day unless you are fawning over them and all their great qualities. They are dangerous to all that oppose them, especially if they have been slighted or shamed publicly. If you declare war on a narcist, they will lie and use their manipulative abilities to make your life hell, or die trying. You will never win, and you will never be able to help them, because there is NOTHING wrong with them. Just ask them.
    And, yes, they are the root of all evil.

    1. Agreed. A Narcissist is a heart break waiting to happen. As the wife of one for 9 years I was never good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, well-read enough, fit enough....and the list goes on. Loving and living with a Narcissist is very difficult and takes a significant toll on the self-esteem of those that love them. If you ever meet one treat them as you would any one else but take this advice, don't fall in love with one and don't marry one.

  6. Of course there is a difference between the term which is used casually by general society, and the term used specifically in a cinical sense.