The Real Reasons Psychiatrists Want to Provide Psychotherapy

It takes fewer patients to fill your practice, which means:

• Less paperwork
• Less room taken up by file cabinets
• Fewer problems with pharmacies
• You don't have to keep up with so many different drugs
• Fewer phone calls
• You're more likely to get the patient's name right since there aren't that many other patients to mix them up with

Patients visit more frequently, which means:

• Fewer phone calls (because you might see them tomorrow anyway and talk about it in person)
• You're more likely to get the patient's name right since you haven't had as long to forget what they look like.

There is plenty of time, under the guise of "therapy" of course:

• to talk about problems with keeping appointments or being late
• to talk about paying bills
• for the psychiatrist to fill out forms (while still getting paid for the time)

If your patient doesn't like you, you can pretend like that's a symptom of their illness which will require even more treatment.
If your patient does like you, you can pretend like that's a symptom of their illness which will require even more treatment.
Your patients were probably never really sick to begin with.
Patients won't notice you forgot everything you learned in med school.
It takes longer for patients to get better, which means:

• They'll probably get better regardless of the treatment, because time heals all wounds, or
• They'll pretend to get better and leave treatment eventually just because they're so tired of talking to you.

More time to get work done if the patient doesn't show up.
You have more of an excuse for not answering the phone.
You have more of an excuse for not answering the door.
You don't have to split the money with a psychotherapist.
Your appointment book can have bigger spaces.
You get paid to chat with people who are more interesting than you are.
You get paid to tell the patient goodbye.
You don't have to worry about getting all the history in the first session.
Patients know better than to ask if you can "squeeze" them in.
Regular visits make for fewer missed appointments.

I may add to this over time.

If you're a psychiatrist who does psychotherapy or psychoanalysis (a sporkiatrist?), and you're offended by this, you probably just need to get more psychotherapy or psychoanalysis yourself, or at least more supervision.